The Applause of Heaven

The Applause of Heaven
by: Radhanath Thialan

            Standing behind the dark large drooping curtain that split the stage and the backstage madness, I watched before me the girl who wore a cerulean tutu fully decorated with shimmering Swarovski crystals that glistened so brightly. The crystals mimicked her moves as she leapt and turned on the waxed, wooden floor.  The gracefulness in her “Blue Bird Variation from Sleeping Beauty” stood out as her hand movements portrayed the wings of a bird alongside leaps so elegant.  I can feel the chilliness from the air condition blowing into the backstage through the gaps of the draped stage wing curtains, and a wheeze of stinking pungent smell of mist from the smoke machine.  I would soon find myself under those warm lights.  My heartbeat increased rapidly like the drumming of each round the dice was thrown in ‘Jumanji’. 

            I was fourteen.  It was my very first international ballet competition.  I stroll to an empty spot backstage, walking about aimlessly like a headless chicken while trying to calm and warm myself by rubbing my palms on my thighs.  Suddenly, I thought of mommy sitting among the audiences, grinning from ear to ear and waiting for me to go on stage whilst being so proud of me.  She must be so excited already, sitting on the edge of her seat with most of her weight on her legs. Barely sitting. Eagerly waiting to cheer my name during my performance.  I started to think of all that my mom had done to get me standing here today. 

            My mom had done so much for me.  How much money and effort she had devoted to enable me in pursuing what I love doing best. Dance.  My mom is a piano teacher and she had always arranged her class schedules accordingly to my hectic dance timetables.  At times, she would have to urgently drive me to the dance school so that I will never be late and miss a single step, then rushes back for her classes.  Sometimes, she had to cancel her classes just to take me to my exams, moreover waiting for an hour or so for me to come out from dance classes and ensuring that I am in good shape.  Every time without fail when I opened the car door after classes, the aroma from her packed healthy home cooked food dragged me in the car, entailing my nose first, thus lifting my legs off the ground.  I realized how much she had done on behalf of me for just a three hours class daily.  Earlier today my mom whispered in my ear, “Relax and don’t forget to smile, prince.” She gave me a kiss on my cheek before we were to be separated from the backstage.  Before any performance, she would always remind me to smile as if the whole dance depends on me smiling; otherwise the performance would be nothing, like a firefly flying without it’s glow. 

 

            I tried to block out the orchestra playing until it is inaudible.  I envision my routine in my head over and over again making sure that I will not miss a single step on stage.  My mind echoes the yelling from my dance teacher. 

“Pull up!  Chest out!  Shoulders down!  Turn out your legs!  Point your toes!  Tuck in that belly of yours for God’s sake!”

            My body automatically reacted and realigned myself while the echoes goes on and on throughout while I am playing the routine in my head.  Her sharp yelling voice was heard so clearly, as if she was right beside me.  Suddenly the fragrance of L'air Du Temps caught my attention.  Carmen, my ballet teacher: a skinny built fair skinned elegant lady, who donned a striking red dress matched with four-inched red heels that accentuates her long powerful legs with beautiful arches on her feet, complementing her well-toned arms with elongated neck, furthermore wearing a pair of sharp-edged glasses with thick eye liners to emphasize her eyes, stood somewhere behind me.  She did not say a single word but instead grinned at me with a creepy wink, which is her way of wishing me luck, and walked off to the audience.  I looked back at her emotionlessly and continued dancing in my head. Briefly later, the roaring cheer and applause from the crowd interrupted my hallucination.  I know that I am soon to be performing.  Hence, my name was called to the stage. 

            As I gasped my last bit of breath, the hall went silent and the stage lights came up.  I walked to the side wing of the stage dragging my feet whilst mumbling my last prayers.  The conductor lifted his baton, and the orchestra filled the hall with symphony.  The anxiousness in my mind and body was abruptly hypnotized by Tchaikovsky’s famous “Siegfried Variation” from Swan Lake.  I literally immersed into the character of a charming prince dedicating this dance to his bride, Odette, gracefully during their wedding ceremony.  I leaped high in the air, firm in every pirouettes and tour en l’airs (spinning on air), and ended perfectly on timing, as I am able to see the conductor pulling a stop to his baton.  I was still in my ending pose, barely hearing a single sound.  All that I perceive was my lungs gasping for more air.  My heart beat thumped fast and loud.  Sweat started to trickle down all over my face as if I had just came out from the shower.  Then, I heard the immense applause from the audience cheering my name. “Bravo!” some shouted.  I beamed in joy for I was overwhelmed with the gracious appreciation of the crowd.  To me, it was like the applause of heaven. 

TDS Competition 2013